Before we can reclaim global leadership, we must first stop eating six sausages and a pound of eggs covered in syrup for breakfast, and we must stop leaving the house in sweatpants.
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Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's
leslie
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Rupert Murdoch's Breaking News
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Senator Steve Fielding's War Against Comically Oversized Hamburgers
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Electronic Arts Announces NAMBLA '09
leslie
Peter Molyneaux, the Creepy Old Man of videogames, has created a digital 12-yo boy called “Milo”. Milo was created as a technology demonstration for Microsoft’s Project Natal, an Xbox peripheral that tracks a player’s movements without the use of a controller.
Note: Project Natal promises to advance the way we interact with games. Sadly — as demonstrated in the video below — it has thus far been unable to address the crippling effects of bad dialogue and wooden acting in videogames.
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@today_tonight Twitter account suspended (Updated x 2)
leslie
Sorry folks, Twitter has suspended the @today_tonight account. I don’t know if it’s because someone (Seven) complained, or if it grew too big too fast, but I’ve emailed Twitter Support to find out.
We got 550+ followers in less than a day, with only 20 posts. Not too shabby!
Update #1: @today_tonight also appears to have been excised from Twitter Search. Here’s a search of posts from @stephenconroy, and here’s the same search for @today_tonight.
Update #2: Here’s all 20 of the @today_tonight Tweets.
BRED FOR VIOLENCE. TONIGHT, WE’LL UNCOVER THE SECRET WORLD OF BLACK-MARKET SPERM TRAFFICKING, AND ITS SHOCKING CONNECTION TO LEBANESE GANGS.
WORKPLACE MASSACRES ARE COMMON, BUT CAN THEY BE PREVENTED? ARE MURDEROUS COLLEAGUES ALWAYS ASIAN? FIND OUT TONIGHT.
THAT WAS JACQUES CHEVALIER, WHO LOST HIS FAMILY IN THE CRASH OF FLIGHT 447. UP NEXT, IT’S MUFFIN, THE VIDEO-GAME PLAYING HAMSTER.
SWINE EBOLA: THE SLEEPING KILLER. EXPERTS AT THE NATIONAL BEEF ASSOCIATION TELL US HOW TO AVOID THE DEADLY VIRUS, TONIGHT.
TONIGHT, CYCLING PSYCHOS. ORGANIZED GANGS OF “BIKE RIDERS” ARE TAKING OVER OUR ROADS, PUTTING MOTORISTS’ LIVES AT RISK.
TONIGHT, LIFE-SAVING SURGERIES FOR LIFE-WASTING BLUDGERS. MORBIDLY OBESE AUSTRALIANS GORGE THEMSELVES ON YOUR TAX DOLLARS.
TONIGHT, SHATTERING THE GLASS CEILING. AUSSIE WOMEN PROVE THEY CAN DO ANYTHING MEN CAN DO, WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM THEIR DOCTOR.
TONIGHT, THEY’RE UNAUSTRALIAN UNDER THE COVERS: PROMISCUOUS WOMEN UNDERMINING AUSTRALIA’S SPORTING HERITAGE BY SEDUCING OUR YOUNG HEROES.
TONIGHT, FROM TAXI TO TRIAGE: INDIAN STUDENTS ARE FILLING UP OUR HOSPITALS. ARE THERE ENOUGH BEDS FOR AUSSIE PATIENTS? A SYSTEM IN CRISIS.
CYBER-PREDATORS ARE TRACKING EVERYTHING YOU SAY AND DO ONLINE. TONIGHT, THE LINK BETWEEN GOOGLE AND INDONESIAN WHITE-SLAVERY SYNDICATES.
TONIGHT: YOUR ABC. TELEVISED SUICIDES AND THE MOCKERY OF TERMINALLY ILL CHILDREN. AUSTRALIA’S MUMS AND DADS SAY THEY’VE HAD ENOUGH.
TWITTER. WHAT IS IT, WHO MAKES IT, AND HOW IS IT AFFECTING YOUR HEALTH? WE REVEAL THE SECRETS BEHIND THE INTERNET’S HOTTEST NEW DRUG.
TONIGHT, DID THE CHASER BOYS EXPLOIT DYING CHILDREN IN A GRAB FOR LOW-BROW RATINGS? BUT FIRST, A HEART-WRENCHING SPECIAL REPORT FROM DARFUR.
“SCHOOL” THE WORD EVOKES IMAGES OF WELL-MANNERED CHILDREN SITTING IN CLASS, BUT THE REALITY MAY SHOCK YOU. TONIGHT, “SEXT EDUCATION”.
ADDICTED TO PRESCRIPTION DRUGS? DONE SOME THINGS YOU AREN’T PROUD OF? HIV-POSITIVE AND DON’T KNOW HOW TO TELL THE KIDS? CALL US.
BUT UP NEXT, DESPERATE DATING, BINDI IRWIN, AND BACK-ALLEY ABORTIONS.
ALSO, A COURAGOUS STORY THAT WILL TOUCH YOUR HEART.
TONIGHT ON TODAY TONIGHT TIANAMEN SQUARE’S 20TH ANNIVERSARY AND THE ZANY ANTICS OF JERRY LEWIS
ARE YOU A FOOTY-MAD BLOKE WHO WISHES HIS OLD LADY WOULD LOSE A FEW KILOS?
HELLO TWITTER WE’RE LOOKING FOR A SINGLE MOTHER WHO LIKES A BIT OF A DRINK AND RAPING OTHER SINGLE MOTHERS PLS EMAIL
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PSP Go
leslie
Sony unveils the PSP Go, a UMD-less slider that’s 43% lighter than the PSP-3000.
In the puff-piece below, you can see The New Hotness, get the specs, and hear how Sony’s always believed in digital content delivery. Score one for the Ministry of Truth.
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Razorfish Retail Experience
leslie
If you can tune out the bad techno and awful dialog, the solution is actually pretty hot.
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Bacterial Orchestra
leslie
The Bacterial Orchestra is a group of iPhones that listen, and respond to, music that they are each creating. Here’s how the human creators describe it;
Bacterial Orchestra (2006) is a self-organizing evolutionary musical organism. The installation consists of several audio cells. Every cell listens to its surroundings and picks up sounds, trying to play together in a musical way. The musical material comes from the background noise, people talking or sounds played by other cells.
Every cell has a unique DNA. Only the ones that are musical fit enough survives. If the surroundings doesn’t meet up to its conditions - too noisy, too quiet or no distinct pulse - the cell dies and is reborn with a new, hopefully better, set of DNA.
The result is a musical organism adapting to and changing its environment, growing and evolving with other cells and spectators.
Blah blah blah, let’s see the monster in action!
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Meet The Spy, Doing Your Mom
leslie
From Kotaku;
What kind of master spy leaks Valve’s Meet the Spy video onto the internet in the middle of the night? The same kind that has sexual relations with the Scout’s mum.
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A Pakistani Underworld
leslie
The always-classy New York Times has a fascinating video dispatch from Adam B. Ellick.
It’s a profile of two brothers, who are manufacturing fetish and bondage-wear… in ultra-conservative Karachi, Pakistan.
Most of the employees making the leather fuck-wear have no idea what it is that they’re cutting and stitching and attaching buckles to.
This man is assembling a hammock-like device. It’s used for swinging-sex, but he thinks it’s a beach chair.
Sonuku 1:18 pm on June 5, 2009 Permalink
Internets police, pull over.
The show itself is happy enough to put bias opinionated slander, misquoted propaganda and sensationalist dribble on display for the public, but as soon as it becomes the focus of attention, HURRRRRRF, CALL THE LAWYERS.
sammo 10:20 pm on June 6, 2009 Permalink
hey mate u should keep updating maybe on facebook or something… they r funny shit!!!!
fake joe 3:36 pm on June 15, 2009 Permalink
http://www.theage.com.au/news/home/technology/the-tweets-of-bruno-versus-those-of-karl/2009/06/15/1244917968089.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap1
ooh forgot to add… your boss Hugh is a big Ali G fan. True story!